


Don't Trust The Hockey Team

by HellsLittleLiar



Series: The Eric Bittle Rules [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsLittleLiar/pseuds/HellsLittleLiar
Summary: In which several people who are very attracted to Bitty are worried that Bitty is being bullied by the hockey team.
Miscommunication ensues.





	1. Henry

**Author's Note:**

> My very first fic in the fandom :) Please let me know what you think of it!
> 
> If you'd like, you can check out my tumblrs:  
> \- HellsLittleWriter (where I post my fic)  
> _ bitsandpiecesofpie (where I fangirl about OMGCheckplease)

Henry slouched into Faber at half past who-even-fucking-knows in the morning. His roommate had sexiled him for the night, despite reassuring him that it would only be for a couple of hours – him and his girlfriend could go at it like fucking rabbits. Heh. “Fucking rabbits”. Shut up, brain, Henry thought to himself, you’re not funny. Anyway that conjured up way too many images that Henry just did not want to deal with right now or ever really. The only people Henry wanted to imagine banging were himself and the cute little blond freshman boy that was in his required English class. Oh yeah. What Henry would do just to touch that perfect little perky ass. Many things, he decided, he would do many things. He didn’t actually know the boys name or what he did outside of class or anything about him, but Henry did know that if the boy was looking for a hookup then he would jump right in as volunteer. 

Henry rounded the corner and – coinci-fucking-dentally – there the blond boy was. On the ice. With a really huge guy towering above him. Oh no.

The boy looked terrified and it was no wonder, as only seconds later, the giant guy slams him into the boards. Blond boy looks like he’s close to tears and, even if he didn’t want to get in blond boys pants, this was not the kind of behaviour that Henry would stand for.  
“Hey!” He shouted. Both of them looked around at him, surprised.  
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Henry demanded.  
The large guy frowned. “Doing? You mean here? Did you book the rink? We’re only here this early ‘cause nobody else is usually using the ice at this time.”  
“No,” Henry bit out, “I meant what are you doing to him? What the hell, asshole? What’s wrong with you?”  
The guy blinked, looking lost. “You mean Bittle? We’re practising checking. He needs to learn how to take a hit-”  
Henry let out an embarrassingly high pitched angry noise. “Take a hit? What the fuck? Maybe you need to learn to take a fucking hit! You ever think about that?”  
“Wha-” The guy was too busy asking his next fucking question to notice Henry’s fist slamming into his face, knocking him onto the ground.

The blond boy – Bittle, Henry corrected himself – shook himself out of his stupor and skated over to Henry. His heart beat a little faster, knowing Bittle was finally going to acknowledge him and maybe even thank him for getting rid of this asshole. Maybe he would let Henry take him on a date.

 

This was not what happened.

 

Instead, Bittle skated over to Henry and screamed at the top of his voice. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO HIM, YOU ASSHOLE!?”  
Bittle barrelled into Henry’s front, sending him flying backwards into the seats behind him. Dazed, Henry could only think this guy’s got a lot of muscle for someone so small. In the background, Henry was vaguely aware of the big guy struggling to get to his feet. Bittle looked murderous and Henry gulped. Clearly he’d been mistaken, if Bittle was defending this guy, but what else could it have been? One guy, massively bigger than the other, was slamming the little one against the wall. It had been an obvious case of ‘nerd into locker’ style bullying – or, at least, it had looked like it.

Bittle was still right in front of Henry, scowling. The big guy placed a hand on Bittle’s shoulder. “Bittle, it’s okay, calm down.”  
“Don’t you tell me to calm down, Mr Zimmermann! He just hit you! That’s not okay in my books!”  
“Bitty, look at me.”  
Bittle looked around at the nickname, eyes widening.  
Zimmermann made sure that Bittle was fully facing him when he was talking. “He thought I was hurting you.”  
Bittle stared at him, deadpan and in a monotone voice stated “You were hurting me.”  
“On purpose.”  
“You were hurting me on purpose.”  
“He thought I was bullying you, Bitty!”  
“Well, I don’t know anyone other than a bully who would force someone to be up at this god-awful time of morning.”  
It was Zimmermann’s turn to look unimpressed. “You are really not helping to convince him that I’m not bullying you.”  
“Oh, is that what we’re doing?”  
“Well, it’s what I was trying to do. I don’t know what you were trying to do.”

“Trying to kill me, it fucking felt like.” Henry interrupted. He didn’t want his night to get any worse or any weirder than it had been already. It was practically morning. There was nothing left he could do to save the night but maybe if he could get back into his room then it could be just about salvageable. Bittle looked a little embarrassed, like he’s been caught with his hand in the fucking cookie jar and not like he’d just tried to ram a man twice his size to his death. Zimmermann, on the other hand, looked absolutely fucking delighted. He turned to Bittle. “Bitty! Bitty, you just checked him!”  
“Aah… what?” Bittle trailed off looking confused.  
“YOU JUST CHECKED HIM!!!” Zimmermann yelled, wrapping his arms around Bittle and spinning them in happy little circles. Bittle shrieked as he was lifted into the air and giggled as he was spun around. Henry felt just a little bit left out.

He shifted uncomfortably in the seat he was sprawled across and the two turned to him as though they had completely forgotten his existence. Henry scowled.  
“Does anyone want to tell me what the fuck is going on here?” He demanded.  
Bittle looked vaguely embarrassed and Zimmermann avoided Henry’s gaze. Bittle coughed as though trying to clear his throat.  
“Sorry ‘bout that. I thought you were just startin’ a fight with Jack for no reason. I didn’t realise you thought you were lookin’ out for me.” Bittle’s wide eyes gazed at Henry and, despite the aching pain in his torso, Henry felt compelled to forgive him completely for everything he had ever done ever.

“I… uh… it’s alright.” Henry turned to Jack with a dazed look. “Sorry for hitting you, man, I didn’t realise you weren’t hurting him.”  
Jack nodded in acknowledgement. Good. That meant that Bittle wasn’t about to try to kill him again. Hopefully.

“Right, well,” Henry got to his feet. “I- uh – I’ll just be going then. Um. Have fun with… whatever this checking thing is, I guess?” Henry felt like a fucking idiot. He coughed awkwardly and started heading towards the exit. He didn’t know what the fuck checking was but obviously Bittle was enjoying it.  
“You don’t know what checking is?” An incredulous voice came from behind him. Bittle’s voice.  
“Uuuhhh… no?” Henry replied, trying not to doubt himself. He didn’t know what checking was. He knew he didn’t know what checking was. Bittle frowned at him. “But if you don’t know what checking is then you probably don’t play hockey, right?”  
“Right.” Henry was not sure where he was going with this.  
“So that must mean that you’re a figure skater!” Bittle looked delighted with his deduction. Henry didn’t want to crush the little guy’s enthusiasm. 

But he was wrong.

“No… um… to be honest with you my room-mate chucked me out so he could have ‘private time’ with his girlfriend. I only came in here ‘cause it’s the only building on campus that’s not locked at this time of night – I mean, morning.”

Bittle gasped, clutching his hand to his chest dramatically. “Well that just won’t do! I insist that you come with us for coffee! After all, it’s the least I can do after I knocked you off your feet!”  
Henry stared. Was he serious?  
“Are you mocking me?” Henry asked, deciding on the only logical course of action; questioning.  
“Of course not!” Was Bittle actually offended by that? Who talks like that? “Come on, you can’t go back to your dorm, anyway, so you might as well come out for coffee with us!”  
Zimmermann coughed. “Uh, well, actually, I can’t make coffee this morning. I have some homework I need to do… I was gonna suggest we go this afternoon instead?” He suggested.  
“Aw, that’s alright, Jack! We’ll go later today and me and Henry can just go for some coffee now.”

He knows my name??? Henry thought. Holy shit. Cute blond boy knows my name and now I know his name and he is strong enough to throw me off my feet (or against a wall). This is the best day ever.

Zimmermann nodded. “Good game plan, Bittle. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he disappeared. Well, skated to the exit.  
Bittle waved after him and turned to Henry. “Well, shall we?” 

Cute blond boy had practically just asked him on a date! Granted, he was meeting up with that other guy who may or may not be his boyfriend later in the day, but Henry got to go first! He was picked to go first! It was practically a fifty-fifty chance that Bittle would want to date Henry. There was no confirmation that the other guy was his boyfriend, after all.

Henry smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go get coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Henry °~°


	2. Michael

Bitty was Michael’s new best friend. Not only did he bring pies to the LGBTQ+ meetings, he also let Michael compare notes with him. If he was being absolutely honest, Bitty’s notes were pretty terrible but Michael didn’t care at all because when Bitty was handing them over, he had an excuse to brush their fingers together. Michael enjoyed how Bitty blushed whenever this happened. Michael also enjoyed leaning their faces closer together to thank Bitty for lending him his notes. Unfortunately, Bitty didn’t seem to be taking the hint. Bitty would just smile and tell Michael that he was very welcome to borrow his notes whenever he needed.

Michael had thought maybe Bitty was interested on the first day they had met, when they’d introduced themselves to each other.

(“Hey there, I’m Michael.”  
“Hi, Michael! My name’s Eric Bittle, but you can call me Bitty!” Bitty had fluttered his long, gorgeous eyelashes up at Michael, gazing through his giant brown eyes.)

What had Michael been supposed to do? Just ignore the hot freshman flirting with him when he knew for sure he was gay? Okay, maybe Michael hadn’t had enough time to work up the courage to ask Bitty out just yet – but he was going to! Soon! Today, even. But, you know, later today. Much later. Perhaps Bitty would prefer to be asked out on a romantic evening stroll rather than in the morning. Or maybe he did prefer the morning? It was too late for that now - Michael would just have to put it off until tomorrow.

As Michael allowed his thoughts to be consumed with how to ask Bitty out, he caught sight of the boy in question. And the boy in question was being towered over by what looked like two giants. Michael scowled. He was sure that those two were on the hockey team and Michael really hated the hockey team. Well. Not the hockey team specifically. But all sports teams! Call it a hang-up from his high school days as an out gay boy and he would like to leave it at that. Michael couldn’t stand jocks and the fact that they were messing with his friend was not exactly helping their cause.

 

Michael marched over to the three of them and shoved himself into the space next to Bitty, slinging an arm over his shoulders.  
“Hey, Bitty, how’s it going?” In previous situations such as this one, Michael had found it best to ignore the bully or bullies until they just gave up and left. Unless they were violent. In which case, running was probably the best option they had.  
“Oh!” Bitty squeaked, a little surprised. “Mornin’ Michael. I’m doing just fine, how ‘bout you?”  
The giant blond jock who had been leaning over Bitty snorted and Michael glared up at him. He shouldn’t be making fun of Michael’s possible potential future boyfriend. Perhaps. “Bits, you’re so fucking southern.”  
“Yeah, bro, teach us another southern phrase. You know, like the one with the pig?”

Bitty’s Georgian accent had not been what Michael had expected the two to be bullying Bitty about.  
Of all the things that bullies picked up on, it was usually someone’s presumed sexuality. Michael took that to mean that these two had been messing with Bitty for a while – they must have ran out of topics and started in on his (actually adorable) accent just as Michael appeared. Bitty was awesome, but also very obviously gay. For god’s sake the boy wore booty shorts to class and baked a literal actual rainbow cake at Pride. There was no way that any jock harassing him didn’t know about Bitty’s sexuality. Not that Michael was being stereotypical or anything.  
What Michael had not expected was for Bitty to laugh warmly and genuinely at the two jocks mocking his accent.  
“Well now, boys, I’m not sure you deserve any pie if you keep goin’ at me ‘bout my accent like that.” He taunted. The hockey jocks looked horrified.  
“Noooo!” They both howled and dropped to their knees in front of Bitty. Michael looked on, confused. Obviously Bitty held some kind of power over these jocks and Michael would like to know what it is… so he can harness it for himself.  
“Please, Bits! Not the pie! It’s finals week soon and I’m gonna need it to live!” One of them begged.  
“Yeah, man! We need it to live! But especially Ransy-poo! He’s a coral reef! A CORAL REEF!”

Michael was not sure who Ransy-poo was but his bet was on the other jock kneeling in front of Bitty like he was their God. Michael really hoped that Ransy-poo was not that guys actual name. 

Michael found that he was in quite an awkward situation. Obviously he had misjudged how much Bitty could handle himself in front of jocks. Even if it was just bribing them with pie. What was with their strong reactions to pie, anyway?  
“That’s a bit of an overreaction about pie, isn’t it?” Michael regretted the question as soon as the two jocks turned to glare at him. Bitty turned to face him too, seemingly hurt.  
“Haven’t you ever tried my pie when I brought them to meetings?”  
“Well I was always going to… but there never seems to be any left whenever I try.”  
“Oh, honey. Now don’t you worry. Why don’t you come home with us and I’ll serve you up a slice of my moomaw’s famous apple pie?” Bitty offered, like a delicious temptress.

Michael gulped.  
Yep.  
He was so fucked over this boy it wasn’t even funny.

At least the pie was amazing enough to help make him forget for an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did promise more boys with crushes on Bitty ;)
> 
> My poor OC babies... they're just trying to help!


	3. Jonathan

The loud moustachioed hockey player flailed in the corner. This would have been fine if it weren’t for the fact that he was trapping in a tiny little blond boy with giant adorable eyes filled with apprehension. Jonathan had never been in the hockey fraternity house before and had also never seen the small blond boy before either. Jonathan had no idea what the boy was doing at this frat party but he was way too small to be on one of Samwell’s athletic teams. Jonathan himself was on the men’s basketball team and he had never seen the blond before. Maybe the blond boy was a team manager or maybe he was a party crasher. Either way, he shouldn’t be forced into a corner by a man three times bigger than he was.

The moustache guy appeared to be getting more irate the further he got into his rant, arms waving wildly about as he tried to demonstrate his point and hold onto his beer at the same time. As Jonathan drew closer he noticed a couple of other important details; moustache guy had more than one beer if the bottles surrounding the two were anything to go by; little blond boy was wearing some teeny tiny booty shorts that should be illegal in public; and finally, because of Jonathan’s height and the boy’s tininess, if they stood next to each other the boy would only reach to about Jonathan’s chest. (Perfect kissing height his brain supplied. Shut up brain, nobody likes you. That's not even a good height difference.)

There really was only one thing to do in this situation. Jonathan inserted himself between the two and, ignoring the moustache guy, grinned flirtily at the blond.  
“Hi there.”  
“H-hi?” The blond boy squeaked, glancing at the moustache guy before reverting his attention back to Jonathan. Where it was going to stay. Hopefully.  
“I’m Jonny, what’s your name?” Nobody had called Jonathan that since second grade.  
“Eric, but everyone calls me Bitty.”  
“Bitty?” Jonathan could see Eric (or Bitty?) drawing in on himself, as though expecting to be made fun of. “Is that ‘cause of how fucking small and adorable you are?”  
“Um… not-not really? Actually everyone on the hockey team has a nickname! Mine’s just shortening my last name!”  
Jonathan blinked. “Hockey team? Are you the team manager?”  
“Nah, brah.” The moustache guy inserted himself into their conversation, completely unwantedly, if Jonathan may point out. “Bitty is on the team. He’s on the starting line and has the second best goal streak on the entire team.” Moustache guy looked annoyed at the fact that Jonathan didn’t know Bitty was on the team. "He's scored a goal the last 15 games we've played. He scored a hat trick in yesterday's game which is actually what this kegster is to celebrate-"

That was fair.

“Wow. That sounds impressive. How about you tell me all about it over a drink?” Jonathan offered a charming grin. “How about coffee tomorrow morning?”  
“A-actually I’m busy tomorrow morning. I have practice… but maybe some other time?” Bitty offered apologetically, glancing a little too desperately at moustache guy. It’s not like Jonathan didn’t know how to take a rejection, but that didn’t change the fact that it stung. Jonathan shrugged, casually.  
“No worries, man. I’ll leave you alone now, but let me know if you change your mind?” Jonathan brushed the back of his hand gently across one of Bitty's pink cheeks. 

Jonathan was on the other side of the room before Bitty could even open his mouth. Obviously Bitty hadn’t been interested and had felt the need to make up a lie to get out of going out for drinks with Jonathan. That didn’t change Jonathan’s intentions of staying for the rest of the night just to keep an eye on moustache guy - he didn't trust that guy's intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it (even if it is a tiny little bit shorter than the last couple)!
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	4. Bitty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bitty finally gets a clue.

Bitty was very confused. Ever since he had come to Samwell and joined the hockey team, there seemed to be an influx of strangers he didn’t know acting aggressively towards his teammates. It had happened three times in the last week! Once when he was in checking practice with Jack, once with Ransom and Holster chatting in the street and once when he was trying to have a conversation with Shitty at the most recent Haus Party. Bitty knew as a frog, he wasn’t well versed in the way of Samwell students but, even if most of the campus seemed to hate the hockey team, being so rude was completely inappropriate behaviour. 

The first one – Henry – had explained himself, even after Bitty had kinda sorta threw him across the ice. There was something he must have been covering up for, though, as even when they were getting coffee together Henry continued to give Bitty strange looks from across the table.

Michael had seemed so nice but he had completely blanked out Ransom and Holster when Bitty was trying to talk to them. And he’d never tried one of Bitty’s pies before! (That had been corrected almost immediately.) But while Bitty and Michael were having a little chat over pie, Michael’s face kept colouring red and he wouldn’t look Bitty directly in the eye. 

And there was a third one that had appeared out of nowhere at the Haus party last night. Bitty thought his name was Jonny but the music had been loud so it could also have been Tommy or Sonny. He had inserted himself into Bitty’s personal space, physically separating Bitty from his conversation with Shitty. Bitty was sure that he hadn’t meant any harm, but having a jock towering over him and forcing him into an interaction was incredibly intimidating.

Bitty wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do about this situation so he brought it up at team breakfast to see if anyone else had noticed.  
“Have any of you boys noticed that some people have started being really rude to y’all?”  
Holster snorted. “Yeah, Bits, don’t worry about it – they’re just trying to look cool in front of the cute new frog.”  
“Really?” Bitty asked, tilting his head innocently. “Who’s that?”  
Ransom stared at him. “Are you joking?”  
“Um… n-no? What’s the joke?”  
Shitty snorted. “Wow, Bits, it’s like you haven’t noticed that you’re the hot piece of ass around here.”  
“Wait. What?”

“Morning.” Jack walked in and sat down at the table, loading his plate with eggs and whatever else hockey captains ate for breakfast. Bitty wasn’t paying enough attention to notice. “What are you guy talking about?”  
“How Bitty totes hasn’t noticed that he’s a beautiful mermaid… merman in a sea of ugly bottom dwelling fish of college.” Holster announced, dramatically.  
Jack just blinked at him. “Oh. You mean Bittle finally realised that people have been hitting on him all year?”  
“They’ve been what!?”  
“C’mon, Bittle, you must have noticed by now. A lot of guys try to flirt with you.”  
“Yeah, Bits, you’ve been on actual dates a couple of times!”  
“Oh, yeah! With that guy Mikey? Mickey? Mitchell? I don’t know but it started with an M and you went on a date with him!”  
“No I never! I haven’t been on a date with anyone!”  
“He didn’t even realise they were dates!” Ransom wailed, mournfully. “This poor boy is hopeless – Holster, quick! Open facebook! There’s no way to avoid it – this frog needs to be set up for winter screw as soon as possible!”  
“Hell yeah, Rans! We’ll set him up on a date he’ll actually realise he’s on!”  
“I thought you guys had already decided on who to set him up with?” Shitty questioned.  
“Nah, that was before he came out – Bitty Bits needs to go on a real date!”

 

Bitty sighed. It didn’t look like he was getting out of this any time soon…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of it! Let me know if you enjoyed it :)

**Author's Note:**

> My poor baby OCs... :D


End file.
